Wednesday, February 29, 2012

It's been a while...

Sorry for being MIA for so long. If you haven't realized by now, I often have periods in which I drop off the face of the earth. I get majorly focused on one thing and it's not until I'm done with that thing that I sit back and remember there's an entire planet out there that I've been ignoring. I've been in a graduate school/graduating panic. I'm hoping *crosses fingers* for a may 2013 graduation, which means that I'm freaking the hell out. I've now checked my DARS report a million times, checking and rechecking that I'm done with my core after this semester. I've been staring at my graduation plan, mentally planning for next year, trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to finish up all of my service hours, and if I can keep my grades up so that I not only graduate with honors from AHS, but with honors in general (like cum laude, magna cum laude, summa cum laude). And also I'm looking hardcore into grad schools, panicking over letters of recommendation, panicking over admission requirements and scheduling interviews and auditions, and freaking out over the GRE. So I'm dedicating a lot of energy to panicking.

I'm SO not ready for the real world yet. Then again, is anyone?

love,
Alice

Monday, February 6, 2012

In Which I post Today in Parts, Part II

Okay, so my second issue is derogatory slang for the LGBT community. It is my belief that words only have as much power as we give them. The way to conquer these words is to strip them down to their original meaning and only that (will post those below), although the entire taking back the words thing is awesome, too. Fantastic idea, in my not-so-humble opinion.

Back to the original meaning:
dyke or dike 1  (daɪk)

— n
1.     an embankment constructed to prevent flooding, keep out the sea, etc
2.     a ditch or watercourse
3.     a bank made of earth excavated for and placed alongside a ditch
4.     ( Scot ) a wall, esp a dry-stone wall
5.     a barrier or obstruction
6.     a vertical or near-vertical wall-like body of igneous rock intruded into cracks in older rock
__________________________
queer
[kweer] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, verb, noun
adjective
1.
strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.
2.
of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3.
not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
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faggot or esp  ( US ) fagot 1  (ˈfæɡət)

— n
1.     a bundle of sticks or twigs, esp when bound together and used as fuel
2.     a bundle of iron bars, esp a box formed by four pieces of wrought iron and filled with scrap to be forged into wrought iron
3.     a ball of chopped meat, usually pork liver, bound with herbs and bread and eaten fried
4.     a bundle of anything
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fag
1    [fag] Show IPA verb, fagged, fag·ging, noun
verb (used with object)
1.
to tire or weary by labor; exhaust (often followed by out ): The long climb fagged us out.
2.
British . to require (a younger public-school pupil) to do menial chores.
3.
Nautical . to fray or unlay the end of (a rope).
noun
6.
Slang . a cigarette.
7.
a fag end,  as of cloth.
8.
a rough or defective spot in a woven fabric; blemish; flaw.
9.
Chiefly British . drudgery; toil.
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(this one is just for fun)
gay
[gey] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, noun, adverb
adjective
3.
having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.
4.
bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments.
5.
given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season.
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Now, I don't know about you, but the next time I get called a dyke, I am going to look at the person very confused and tell them that I am not a levee. The next time someone tries to call you a fag tell them they are mistaken, you are not, in fact, a cigarette. The words only have the power we give them, so let's give them none what-so-ever.

love,
Alice

In Which I Post Today In Parts, Part I.

Well, I was going to split this one entry in half, so I would only have to make one post, but I decided against it. The two subjects are so far apart it would be really weird to put them in the same entry. Okay, anyway, so topic number one!

There are two problems, I've noticed, that come with supposedly being in recovery from an eating disorder for a long period of time.

1. Everyone assumes you just no longer have an eating disorder and that you no longer need any support because you're totally over it. You never struggle, so why would you need it?

2. You become too ashamed to tell anyone if you're struggling, or on the verge of a relapse, or relapsing. You've been doing well for so long that you feel like everyone will be disappointed with you.

My thoughts for both of those problems is that's it's fucking bullshit. An eating disorder isn't strep throat, you can't cure it and have it go away forever. It is a struggle everyday, and even if you've been in recovery for twenty years you still need support. You still need to know that someone has your back and will try to catch you if you fall.

I think the second problem ties into the first. Everyone thinks you are ED-free, so it makes you feel like shit to have to give them a reminder that you have an eating disorder. I'm not going to lie, there are people who will be disappointed with you. But that's not right. They should be proud of how long you've made it in recovery, and remind you of that fact, and say if you did it once you know you can do it again.

bottom line: your support system should never go away. People have to have your back always, not just when they think you need it. If they can't give you that kind of support then you don't want to factor them into your support system.