IOFTPS II (and a lesson on procrastination)

Before I get to your normally scheduled funny quotes from strange people, I bring you an important lesson: DON'T PROCRASTINATE. No, seriously. My roommate and I's TV has been slowly leaning forward since move in day. The dresser underneath it was slowly bending, and we knew that we were going to have to move the TV before it fell. Well, we procrastinated on that saying, like "it's okay for now... we can move it later." It turned out moving it later was not an option. Last night, it slid off the dresser and crashed to the ground (thankfully unbroken). Scared the shit out of me though, and messed up the cable. So, yeah, no procrastinating on things like that anymore. It will turn bad.

Now, onto the funny.

"Sorry, we ran one minute over."
"If by one you mean eleven, then yes, yes you did."

"Sorry I'm late, I have a hangover." (...and that was the professor. Compare to: "Class is canceled, I have a hangover" by a professor at Baylor)

"Wow, that hurts your eyes. Really bad for those people out there with hangovers."

"What part of STUDY do you people not get?"

"No chewing gum in class, it's a safety hazard."
"Seriously, you are making this stuff up at this point."

"So, instead of using blackboard, we're going to be using twitter for this class."

"Why do we have lids on our coffee cups?"
"...to keep from spilling it?"
"...well, yes. But I was going for 'because it contains heat.'"

"Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"
"...he does know it's August, right?"

"Okay, well, I'm going to sing so you can find me. IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIFFEEEEE. AND IT MOVES US ALL."

"So, basically, Aristotle is a dick."

More funny to come at a later date. <3

Incredibly, Oddly Funny Things People Say I

And I now introduce a new segment on this blog called Incredibly, Oddly Funny Things People Say. Which is the very strange and very funny things that can be overheard on campus. And also some mentions of really weird things like people running around campus in a tomato costume. 

-"I drink like 10 cups of coffee a day, and a five-hour energy drink, and a caffeine pill or two, and soda. Yeah, I'm probably going to need a kidney transplant but I have sibling so it'll be okay."

-"A slut is someone who sleeps with everyone, a dyke is someone who sleeps with everyone but you."

-"Yes, sometimes I fantasize about killing someone and turning into a bird, too."

-"You are a short five-five and I am a tall five-two"

-"Fear of dykes? No, not quite."

-(repeatedly)"No, Alice and Abby, you cannot answer questions on things we already went over in abnormal psych"

Annnnnnnnd, that's all I have for now. More funny things have been said around campus but I always forget if I don't mark them down for future amusement.

Love,

Alice