...and here is a story of losing

In 2009 the world lost a very beautiful, bright life. That life's name was Lauren, and Lauren was my friend. She was everyone's friend. She was so nice and sweet and loved so much. She gave practical advice when you needed it, a scolding when you needed it, and a giant hug whenever you wanted it. She was beautiful. She was the mother of two very beautiful little girls, and a wife to a very nice man. She was talented and smart, but she was a stay-at-home mommy. She was amazing and it's killing me to have to talk about her in the past tense. Because in 2009 Lauren died. Her heart just stopped. She was only 27, but an eating disorder made her body feel very old and tired. In 2009 an eating disorder stole Lauren. It took her away and there's no getting her back. And god does it hurt everyone who loved her. Years later people send her messages she'll never get telling her how much we love her, and miss her, and hope that she is in a place as beautiful as she is. And that she's happy. That her afterlife is peaceful without ED or stress or sadness. That she knows that she is beautiful and she's just being happy.

It hurts to be without her, and knowing there will be no more reassurances and advice and hugs. Sometimes I still curl up and cry because I miss her, and you know what? That's okay. There's your lesson: it's okay to grieve. Don't be ashamed of crying because you miss someone, because everyone misses someone, and everyone's cried. It's okay to miss them. You just have to make sure your life doesn't end with theirs.

love,

Alice