Okay, so my second issue is derogatory slang for the LGBT community. It is my belief that words only have as much power as we give them. The way to conquer these words is to strip them down to their original meaning and only that (will post those below), although the entire taking back the words thing is awesome, too. Fantastic idea, in my not-so-humble opinion.
Back to the original meaning:
dyke or dike 1 (daɪk)
— n
1. an embankment constructed to prevent flooding, keep out the sea, etc
2. a ditch or watercourse
3. a bank made of earth excavated for and placed alongside a ditch
4. ( Scot ) a wall, esp a dry-stone wall
5. a barrier or obstruction
6. a vertical or near-vertical wall-like body of igneous rock intruded into cracks in older rock
__________________________
queer
[kweer] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, verb, noun
adjective
1.
strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.
2.
of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3.
not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
________________________
faggot or esp ( US ) fagot 1 (ˈfæɡət)
— n
1. a bundle of sticks or twigs, esp when bound together and used as fuel
2. a bundle of iron bars, esp a box formed by four pieces of wrought iron and filled with scrap to be forged into wrought iron
3. a ball of chopped meat, usually pork liver, bound with herbs and bread and eaten fried
4. a bundle of anything
______________
fag
1 [fag] Show IPA verb, fagged, fag·ging, noun
verb (used with object)
1.
to tire or weary by labor; exhaust (often followed by out ): The long climb fagged us out.
2.
British . to require (a younger public-school pupil) to do menial chores.
3.
Nautical . to fray or unlay the end of (a rope).
noun
6.
Slang . a cigarette.
7.
a fag end, as of cloth.
8.
a rough or defective spot in a woven fabric; blemish; flaw.
9.
Chiefly British . drudgery; toil.
_______________________
(this one is just for fun)
gay
[gey] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, noun, adverb
adjective
3.
having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.
4.
bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments.
5.
given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season.
________________________
Now, I don't know about you, but the next time I get called a dyke, I am going to look at the person very confused and tell them that I am not a levee. The next time someone tries to call you a fag tell them they are mistaken, you are not, in fact, a cigarette. The words only have the power we give them, so let's give them none what-so-ever.
love,
Alice
Monday, February 6, 2012
In Which I Post Today In Parts, Part I.
Well, I was going to split this one entry in half, so I would only have to make one post, but I decided against it. The two subjects are so far apart it would be really weird to put them in the same entry. Okay, anyway, so topic number one!
There are two problems, I've noticed, that come with supposedly being in recovery from an eating disorder for a long period of time.
1. Everyone assumes you just no longer have an eating disorder and that you no longer need any support because you're totally over it. You never struggle, so why would you need it?
2. You become too ashamed to tell anyone if you're struggling, or on the verge of a relapse, or relapsing. You've been doing well for so long that you feel like everyone will be disappointed with you.
My thoughts for both of those problems is that's it's fucking bullshit. An eating disorder isn't strep throat, you can't cure it and have it go away forever. It is a struggle everyday, and even if you've been in recovery for twenty years you still need support. You still need to know that someone has your back and will try to catch you if you fall.
I think the second problem ties into the first. Everyone thinks you are ED-free, so it makes you feel like shit to have to give them a reminder that you have an eating disorder. I'm not going to lie, there are people who will be disappointed with you. But that's not right. They should be proud of how long you've made it in recovery, and remind you of that fact, and say if you did it once you know you can do it again.
bottom line: your support system should never go away. People have to have your back always, not just when they think you need it. If they can't give you that kind of support then you don't want to factor them into your support system.
There are two problems, I've noticed, that come with supposedly being in recovery from an eating disorder for a long period of time.
1. Everyone assumes you just no longer have an eating disorder and that you no longer need any support because you're totally over it. You never struggle, so why would you need it?
2. You become too ashamed to tell anyone if you're struggling, or on the verge of a relapse, or relapsing. You've been doing well for so long that you feel like everyone will be disappointed with you.
My thoughts for both of those problems is that's it's fucking bullshit. An eating disorder isn't strep throat, you can't cure it and have it go away forever. It is a struggle everyday, and even if you've been in recovery for twenty years you still need support. You still need to know that someone has your back and will try to catch you if you fall.
I think the second problem ties into the first. Everyone thinks you are ED-free, so it makes you feel like shit to have to give them a reminder that you have an eating disorder. I'm not going to lie, there are people who will be disappointed with you. But that's not right. They should be proud of how long you've made it in recovery, and remind you of that fact, and say if you did it once you know you can do it again.
bottom line: your support system should never go away. People have to have your back always, not just when they think you need it. If they can't give you that kind of support then you don't want to factor them into your support system.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
In which this semester kicks my ass
I'm typing this now because tomorrow I may not be able to move. My dance courses are kicking my ass! I'm taking two ballet courses in the same day. Needless to say by the end of the day I am wiped out, and I woke up on wednesday so damn sore. And today. Because I have another dance class on wednesdays. Tomorrow I might refuse to get out of bed.
Yeah, 16 hours may not have been the best idea I ever had. (Wow, this is abnormally short).
Yeah, 16 hours may not have been the best idea I ever had. (Wow, this is abnormally short).
love,
Alice
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
New Years Resolutions.
Right, so I have three resolutions for 2012, we'll see if I actually complete any of them.
1. Learn to play guitar
2. Learn to do the kitri jump (if you have no idea what I'm talking about google kitri jump from don quixote).
3. Learn to speak greek
1. Learn to play guitar
2. Learn to do the kitri jump (if you have no idea what I'm talking about google kitri jump from don quixote).
3. Learn to speak greek
23 Reasons Why I Dropped of the Face of the Earth.
1. The day after Christmas my beautiful, beloved basset hound of 12 years died.
2. I spent the time before christmas frantically working on a hand sewn quilt for Natalie.
3. Finals. Enough said.
4. Not doing so hot in my chem and stats classes.
5. My mother broke her foot.
6. My mother went into the hospital via ambulance a few days later.
7. My grandmother had knee replacement surgery.
8. We had to drive down to see them with very little notice to help out with my grandma.
9. You have to manage lots and lots of pills and PT and other shit after knee replacement surgery, apparently.
10. No motivation for life, the universe, and everything.
11. Also not doing so hot in the ED area.
12. Too damn many doctor's appointments.
13. Writer's block.
14. No desire whatsoever to be in contact with the rest of the planet.
15. The holidays, obviously.
16. Family drama.
17. Spending time learning to play guitar.
18. Spending too much time debating on my new years resolutions.
19. Playing the sims 3 pets obsessively.
20. Learning to play guitar.
21. Learning greek.
22. Finishing up the seventh season of gilmore girls (all done now.)
23. Exhaustion.
2. I spent the time before christmas frantically working on a hand sewn quilt for Natalie.
3. Finals. Enough said.
4. Not doing so hot in my chem and stats classes.
5. My mother broke her foot.
6. My mother went into the hospital via ambulance a few days later.
7. My grandmother had knee replacement surgery.
8. We had to drive down to see them with very little notice to help out with my grandma.
9. You have to manage lots and lots of pills and PT and other shit after knee replacement surgery, apparently.
10. No motivation for life, the universe, and everything.
11. Also not doing so hot in the ED area.
12. Too damn many doctor's appointments.
13. Writer's block.
14. No desire whatsoever to be in contact with the rest of the planet.
15. The holidays, obviously.
16. Family drama.
17. Spending time learning to play guitar.
18. Spending too much time debating on my new years resolutions.
19. Playing the sims 3 pets obsessively.
20. Learning to play guitar.
21. Learning greek.
22. Finishing up the seventh season of gilmore girls (all done now.)
23. Exhaustion.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Of accidents of the car sort
I... have an okay track record with cars. It has caused me to be a very, very cautious driver which annoys anyone who wants to get somewhere quickly. I will drive the speed limit, dammit, always use my blinkers, avoid other cars like the plague, wait the required amount of time at stop signs, peek at train tracks to make sure the barriers haven't broken and that even if they're up there is actually a train coming, refuse to talk on the phone or eat while driving. And so on and so forth with the things that drivers should normally do but tend not to do.
The reason why I only have an okay track record instead of a good one is because of the accidents I have been in.
Accident the I: sometime in fourth or fifth grade. Not a big deal. I was in afterschool care at a day care, and I got picked up from school with a bunch of other kids. The giant van, of course, had no seat belts. That would be too safe. So as we are driving up a stop light and a car behind us accelerates and slams into the back. My head smacked the back of the seat in front of me, and just as everyone was straightening up again, they hit us AGAIN. And thus my head hit the seat again. I still do not know what the hell their problem was, because I understanding rear ending someone once, but twice? And why would you speed up at a stoplight? And for the love of god, why did we not have seat belts?
Unsurprisingly, we got seat belts after that.
Accident the II: September 11, 2001. Yup, I had to add a car accident to an already shitty day. 9/11 craziness going on, my grandpa going into the hospital for one of the last times, and a car accident. We were seriously just leaving the parking lot, and my mom wasn't paying a lot of attention because she was distracted with worrying about my grandpa. My mom, my dad, my brother, my aunt, and I were all in the car. My parents in the front seats and me, Jacob, and my aunt in the back. We pulled out, another car stopped abruptly, and we plowed into the back of their truck. The front of our car just crumpled, it was kind of insane that such a small amount of force completely killed the front of our car. They lost their bumper. The only injury I received was a red painful spot on my shoulder and chest from slamming into my seat belt when it locked. A girl in the truck in front of us thought she broke a rib, but the pain cleared up pretty fast so it was assumed she didn't. Even if she did, what would the problem be? We were right outside of the hospital parking lot.
Accident the III: 6th grade. Not quite a car, and also not quite a go cart. I don't know. Anyway. I was in it with my dad's friend driving, who apparently had had more than a few drinks. He took a turn too fast, we flipped over three times. That was... an interesting experience. It was like a blur though, I don't actually remember much of flipping, not the fear or anything because it happened so fast. It was like I blinked and was sitting in it, while it laid on its side. My seat belt had held me securely in place, and besides a streak of oil down my shirt and being shaken up, I was fine. My dad's friend was not so lucky because he was not wearing his seat belt. He flew out and landed on the concrete and seriously injured his ankle. Lesson: drunk drivers are bad, and you should always wear your seat belt. It will save your ass.
Accident the IV: Yesterday. I was with my mom, and we made a turn and the back tires slipped. I don't know how, because they slipped the wrong way that they should have if the turn made them slip. So, they slip once and we make a full circle on the road, my mom tries to straighten us out and we just spin in the other direction, and then back in the other direction. The only thing that stopped us was slamming into the grass on the side of the road. We were two feet away from the ditch that ran there, and on the other side of the road there was an eight foot ditch. No injuries besides a scratch to the side of our truck. What disturbed me the most was the car that just drove by us as we were spiraling all over the road. seriously. What the hell? If we had spun in the opposite direction we would have hit him and then there would have been serious injuries. And as we are sitting there half in the grass and mud, facing oncoming traffic, everyone just drove by us. Seriously. People disturb me sometimes.
Any accidents y'all have been in?
The reason why I only have an okay track record instead of a good one is because of the accidents I have been in.
Accident the I: sometime in fourth or fifth grade. Not a big deal. I was in afterschool care at a day care, and I got picked up from school with a bunch of other kids. The giant van, of course, had no seat belts. That would be too safe. So as we are driving up a stop light and a car behind us accelerates and slams into the back. My head smacked the back of the seat in front of me, and just as everyone was straightening up again, they hit us AGAIN. And thus my head hit the seat again. I still do not know what the hell their problem was, because I understanding rear ending someone once, but twice? And why would you speed up at a stoplight? And for the love of god, why did we not have seat belts?
Unsurprisingly, we got seat belts after that.
Accident the II: September 11, 2001. Yup, I had to add a car accident to an already shitty day. 9/11 craziness going on, my grandpa going into the hospital for one of the last times, and a car accident. We were seriously just leaving the parking lot, and my mom wasn't paying a lot of attention because she was distracted with worrying about my grandpa. My mom, my dad, my brother, my aunt, and I were all in the car. My parents in the front seats and me, Jacob, and my aunt in the back. We pulled out, another car stopped abruptly, and we plowed into the back of their truck. The front of our car just crumpled, it was kind of insane that such a small amount of force completely killed the front of our car. They lost their bumper. The only injury I received was a red painful spot on my shoulder and chest from slamming into my seat belt when it locked. A girl in the truck in front of us thought she broke a rib, but the pain cleared up pretty fast so it was assumed she didn't. Even if she did, what would the problem be? We were right outside of the hospital parking lot.
Accident the III: 6th grade. Not quite a car, and also not quite a go cart. I don't know. Anyway. I was in it with my dad's friend driving, who apparently had had more than a few drinks. He took a turn too fast, we flipped over three times. That was... an interesting experience. It was like a blur though, I don't actually remember much of flipping, not the fear or anything because it happened so fast. It was like I blinked and was sitting in it, while it laid on its side. My seat belt had held me securely in place, and besides a streak of oil down my shirt and being shaken up, I was fine. My dad's friend was not so lucky because he was not wearing his seat belt. He flew out and landed on the concrete and seriously injured his ankle. Lesson: drunk drivers are bad, and you should always wear your seat belt. It will save your ass.
Accident the IV: Yesterday. I was with my mom, and we made a turn and the back tires slipped. I don't know how, because they slipped the wrong way that they should have if the turn made them slip. So, they slip once and we make a full circle on the road, my mom tries to straighten us out and we just spin in the other direction, and then back in the other direction. The only thing that stopped us was slamming into the grass on the side of the road. We were two feet away from the ditch that ran there, and on the other side of the road there was an eight foot ditch. No injuries besides a scratch to the side of our truck. What disturbed me the most was the car that just drove by us as we were spiraling all over the road. seriously. What the hell? If we had spun in the opposite direction we would have hit him and then there would have been serious injuries. And as we are sitting there half in the grass and mud, facing oncoming traffic, everyone just drove by us. Seriously. People disturb me sometimes.
Any accidents y'all have been in?
love,
Alice
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
More sappiness
Sometimes you can't write a poem to say what you feel, you just have to say it.
Every single thing about her takes my breath away. Something I have to step back and wonder if I'm dreaming, and if I am I never want to wake up. Her smile fills me with warmth and her laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world. The sound of her voice makes me feel safe and happy even if I'm sad or scared to death. My name on her lips makes it seem pretty and unique instead of common. I could look into her eyes for an eternity and it wouldn't be enough. Being in her arms is utterly amazing and I would be perfectly happy to just be held by her for forever and a day. The touch of her hands makes my entire body hum and her kisses light my body and soul on fire. Walking hand and hang makes me feel like I could take on anything so long as she was there. She makes me feel pretty and smart, and looking at myself through her eyes lets me see the good in me where before I only saw bad. If I do nothing else right in this world from now on, if it rains for the rest of my life, it was worth it and beauitful because I got the chance to love her.
Every single thing about her takes my breath away. Something I have to step back and wonder if I'm dreaming, and if I am I never want to wake up. Her smile fills me with warmth and her laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world. The sound of her voice makes me feel safe and happy even if I'm sad or scared to death. My name on her lips makes it seem pretty and unique instead of common. I could look into her eyes for an eternity and it wouldn't be enough. Being in her arms is utterly amazing and I would be perfectly happy to just be held by her for forever and a day. The touch of her hands makes my entire body hum and her kisses light my body and soul on fire. Walking hand and hang makes me feel like I could take on anything so long as she was there. She makes me feel pretty and smart, and looking at myself through her eyes lets me see the good in me where before I only saw bad. If I do nothing else right in this world from now on, if it rains for the rest of my life, it was worth it and beauitful because I got the chance to love her.
Alice
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)