Monday, February 6, 2012

In Which I Post Today In Parts, Part I.

Well, I was going to split this one entry in half, so I would only have to make one post, but I decided against it. The two subjects are so far apart it would be really weird to put them in the same entry. Okay, anyway, so topic number one!

There are two problems, I've noticed, that come with supposedly being in recovery from an eating disorder for a long period of time.

1. Everyone assumes you just no longer have an eating disorder and that you no longer need any support because you're totally over it. You never struggle, so why would you need it?

2. You become too ashamed to tell anyone if you're struggling, or on the verge of a relapse, or relapsing. You've been doing well for so long that you feel like everyone will be disappointed with you.

My thoughts for both of those problems is that's it's fucking bullshit. An eating disorder isn't strep throat, you can't cure it and have it go away forever. It is a struggle everyday, and even if you've been in recovery for twenty years you still need support. You still need to know that someone has your back and will try to catch you if you fall.

I think the second problem ties into the first. Everyone thinks you are ED-free, so it makes you feel like shit to have to give them a reminder that you have an eating disorder. I'm not going to lie, there are people who will be disappointed with you. But that's not right. They should be proud of how long you've made it in recovery, and remind you of that fact, and say if you did it once you know you can do it again.

bottom line: your support system should never go away. People have to have your back always, not just when they think you need it. If they can't give you that kind of support then you don't want to factor them into your support system.

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