More sappiness

Sometimes you can't write a poem to say what you feel, you just have to say it.

Every single thing about her takes my breath away. Something I have to step back and wonder if I'm dreaming, and if I am I never want to wake up. Her smile fills me with warmth and her laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world. The sound of her voice makes me feel safe and happy even if I'm sad or scared to death. My name on her lips makes it seem pretty and unique instead of common. I could look into her eyes for an eternity and it wouldn't be enough. Being in her arms is utterly amazing and I would be perfectly happy to just be held by her for forever and a day. The touch of her hands makes my entire body hum and her kisses light my body and soul on fire. Walking hand and hang makes me feel like I could take on anything so long as she was there. She makes me feel pretty and smart, and looking at myself through her eyes lets me see the good in me where before I only saw bad. If I do nothing else right in this world from now on, if it rains for the rest of my life, it was worth it and beauitful because I got the chance to love her.

Alice

Silly, Serious, and Strange Love Quotes

In honor of Natalie, obviously.

“Love is like wildflowers; It's often found in the most unlikely places.” (by someone that isn't me)

“If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be picking roses for a lifetime.” (also by someone that isn't me)

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up."
-James Baldwin

"Love builds bridges where there are none."
-R. H. Delaney

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."
-H. Jackson Brown Jr.

"A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know."
-Mistinguette

"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet."
-Plato

"If I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say I love you."
-Unknown Author

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"
-Unknown Author

"Even if courage fails you, tell that special someone that you love them in anyway possible... "
-Unknown Author

"Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in your dreams. "
-Unknown Author

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
-David Viscott

"Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?"
-Henry Finck

"It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them."
-Agatha Christie

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. "
-Albert Einstein

"You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty."
-Unknown Author

A Thought To Someone From A Lifetime Ago

On the off chance that you'll see this, which wouldn't surprise me at all seeing as you facebookstalked me, I just want to tell you to let it go. Holding on is going to keep you in the past and it's going to keep hurting you. Let it go. Hate me if you need to, baby, tell yourself and the world that I was a stupid, self-absorbed bitch if it makes you sleep better at night. If you have to hate me to let it go, then hate me. Hate me so much you never want to think of me again and let it go. I'll be a distant memory, and you'll be so much happier.

Let me go, because I already let go of you.

Alice

in which I take midterms and listen to awesome music

Wow, that's a long title. Anyway.

The oh-so-lovely week or so of midterms is here. I had two this week, and I just got out of my ballet midterm. I think I did okay, I would have done better if the floor wasn't slippery. No one landed a perfect turn today because of said slippery floor. I have two other tests next week, which are going to be tons of fun because it's stats and chemistry and I just love those classes. Not.

Evanescence, by Evanescence, came out on Tuesday, and let me say that the record is fucking amazing. This blows Fallen and The Open Door out of the water. It is a heavy album, and I am in love with the drums in it. The harp is lovely as well, but the drums, the drums are just so epic. Amy pushes the top of her range in more songs than they've ever done on previous records, and I love it. She rocks it out. It's just amazing. All of it rocks. Obviously. I've been listening to this nonstop since it came out, I honestly can not get enough of it. It completely sucks you in. Go buy it now. Seriously. Now. Do it.

love,

Alice

IOFTPS II (and a lesson on procrastination)

Before I get to your normally scheduled funny quotes from strange people, I bring you an important lesson: DON'T PROCRASTINATE. No, seriously. My roommate and I's TV has been slowly leaning forward since move in day. The dresser underneath it was slowly bending, and we knew that we were going to have to move the TV before it fell. Well, we procrastinated on that saying, like "it's okay for now... we can move it later." It turned out moving it later was not an option. Last night, it slid off the dresser and crashed to the ground (thankfully unbroken). Scared the shit out of me though, and messed up the cable. So, yeah, no procrastinating on things like that anymore. It will turn bad.

Now, onto the funny.

"Sorry, we ran one minute over."
"If by one you mean eleven, then yes, yes you did."

"Sorry I'm late, I have a hangover." (...and that was the professor. Compare to: "Class is canceled, I have a hangover" by a professor at Baylor)

"Wow, that hurts your eyes. Really bad for those people out there with hangovers."

"What part of STUDY do you people not get?"

"No chewing gum in class, it's a safety hazard."
"Seriously, you are making this stuff up at this point."

"So, instead of using blackboard, we're going to be using twitter for this class."

"Why do we have lids on our coffee cups?"
"...to keep from spilling it?"
"...well, yes. But I was going for 'because it contains heat.'"

"Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"
"...he does know it's August, right?"

"Okay, well, I'm going to sing so you can find me. IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIFFEEEEE. AND IT MOVES US ALL."

"So, basically, Aristotle is a dick."

More funny to come at a later date. <3

in which I am still alive

Yes, I am still alive. Somehow. I didn't mean to drop off of the face of the earth, I've just been super busy. I had a chemistry exam today AND a statistics exam. And now next week I have a counseling exam, but I'm letting my brain rest. I've been buried under a pile of textbooks, calculators, notebooks, and number two pencils. No time to breathe, which has not been good. I ended up in the ER the week before last due to repeated absence seizures. I'm okay now, I'm only having one or two a day, which I think is due to lack of sleep and stress. So, lesson, don't let yourself get super stressed and sleep at least eight hours a night.

The other day marked 3 years without purging, which is just pretty fucking epic. I'm super proud of that. That's been a really hard three years, but I made it! Shooting for four now. =)

And a super happy Mabon to you all! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you're probably not pagan. Mabon is the fall equinox. Which is today. Duh.

love,
Alice

Dear You

Dear you,

Hi. I'm pretty positive you already know what this is about. At least I hope you do. I hope you know and I hope you feel like shit about it. I never hope bad things on someone but I'm finding it really hard not to hope bad things on you. So this is fucking ridiculous. I talked over you. Dear lord, what a crime. I should be hung! And you flipped out on me. Again. And when I say again, I mean like the fifth fucking time that week. It was only Wednesday. You seem to be doing that a lot lately. I thought we got through this years ago. You know what this is. You remember that you and him screamed constantly and vocally tore a child down her whole life. I thought this was over when I learned how to fight back. Guess I was wrong. You have been a lot of things in your life, but I never thought you would be downright mean. Maybe you didn't realize what you were doing when I was younger, but you do now. You're using words that you know will hurt the most, and you spend all day locked in your fucking room only coming out to yell. But you're so sweet to everyone else. No one outside the house sees what you're doing, but I do. You're not innocent. You're just mean.

I tried so damn hard to be perfect for you. I still do and you throw it in my face. I can clean the entire house while you're gone, just to try to make you happy with me and you come home and call me lazy. I can spend all day studying and come home with a certificate saying I was on the Dean's List and you call me stupid. I can make the lead in a show and you call me talentless. I can come home from volunteering all day and working with little kids and you call me worthless. I can starve myself to be thin and spend hours trying to put on the best make-up and style my hair and you call me fat and ugly. I can work my ass off to do all of your work for you so that you can just rest and you call me a bitch. I have my own opinions and I'm a bitch and a waste of oxygen and I should go to hell. I hurt myself and hide it just so I won't have to cry in front of you, so I can force a smile onto my face for you and you call me pathetic, and negative, and a drama queen. I try so damn hard to be perfect for you, but I'm never going to be good enough. 

I want to be mean right back, but that's not who I am. I'm not sinking to your level. I won't make the same mistakes you did, I won't be a bitch like you. I'm not going to hate, I'm going to love. I'm not going to scream and I'm not going to tear people down like you did. I want to hate you, but I can't, because you're my fucking mother. I'm going to love my children. I'm not going to make them hurt like you made me hurt. I'm not going to be like you. Never.

Alice