Need- Hana Pestle

I'm not quite sure how to breathe without you here
I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all we were
Be with me
Stay with me
Just for now
Let the time decide
When I won't need you

My hand searches for your hand
In a dark room
I can't find you
Help me
Are you looking for me?

Can I feel anyore?
Lie to me, I'm fading
I can't drop you
Tell me, I don't need you

My hand searches for your hand
In a dark room
I can't find you
Help me
Are you looking for me?

Etch this into my brain for me
Tell me, how it's supposed to be
Where everything will go
And how I'll be without you by my side

My hand searches for your hand
In a dark room
I can't find you
Help me
Are you looking for me?

My hand searches for your hand
In a dark room
I can't find you
Help me
Are you looking for me?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lovely made premium status today. Omigod omigod omigod omigod omigod!!!!!!!!

So this is what it feels like to be living your dream.

......

I used to be able to stop at three.... but now thirteen is barely enough.

A valentine's day entry...

First off, happy Valentine's Day!!!! To those with significant others, smile because you're getting to celebrate Valentine's day, and rejoice in the fact that you can have all the PDA you want, 'cause it's Valentine's day. To those with no significant other, smile because you're celebrating single's awareness day, and in nine months you definitely won't be giving birth. ;)

Now for some fun, I have compiled a list of the 10 most adorable, sweetest, awesomest marriage proposals... and another 10 of the most hilarious, god awful, "why would you say yes?" marriage proposals. 

Awesome Proposals (with commentary)

1. Put it in her Christmas stocking. You can put a candy cane through it with a 'Will you marry me?' note attached. (or just put the ring in a box and when she takes it out and turns around already be down on one knee)

2. Have her serenaded on Valentine's Day. You can hire a singer to surprise her with a Valentine's song, such as 'My Funny Valentine' or Martina McBride's 'Valentine'. Or, serenade her yourself and end with the proposal!

3. Stay in a cabin in the mountains and propose as you hike to a waterfall with a picnic lunch.

4.Rent a rowboat and go out on the open water for a picnic. Take along a single rose, a bottle of champagne, and of course the engagement ring. Pause in the middle of the lake and surprise your sweetie when you pull out your picnic basket. After a romantic picnic, declare your feelings and and ask for your sweetie's hand in marriage.
(pretty sure they did this in Taylor Swift's video for "Mine")

5. Slip the ring on her finger while she's sleeping then wake her with your special proposal. (awwwwwwwww)

6.Make her breakfast in bed and place a romantic card on the tray with your proposal.

7. Build her a sandcastle at the beach together, then place the ring on the highest tower while she's not looking. When she finds it, tells her that she's your princess and then ask for her hand in marriage. (this one is SO freaking cute)

8. Cuddle up in front of the fireplace on a snowy day and propose while the fire crackles.

9. Go for a walk in the rain without umbrella's for an incredibly intimate and romantic experience. Pause under a tree, wipe the rain drops from her lips, lead down and kiss her, then drop to one knee and pull out the ring.

10. Buy fortune cookies and remove the fortunes from them with a pair of tweezers. Replace th fortunes with notes asking her to marry you. You can set it up with a Chinese restaurant to bring them to you after a nice romantic dinner or have them delivered with your take out.

Worst proposals:

1. Proposing on national television. (if she rejects you, the entire world will see you get slammed down and everyone else in the country will forever see her as a bitch. Don't believe me? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtPkxzHKLpk

2. Asking during sex. (No. Just... no.)

3. Make a video: making a person video of yourself proposing to her, and then watch it with her (WTF?)

4. Proposal via tattoo. (*beats head against wall*) 

5. Through facebook/myspace/twitter/blogspot/livejournal/other (as much as I love twitter, even I know that proposing via social networking is a REALLY, REALLY BAD IDEA.)

6. Some guy wanted to literally *pop* the question, so he put the uber expensive engagement  in a helium filled balloon... and there was a lot of wind that day... goodbye balloon, goodbye expensive ring, goodbye potential spouse

7. Putting the ring in any food or beverage. (If you're lucky with this one you won't end up in the ER with a medical bill that costs  more than the ring currently sitting in her stomach/lodged in her throat.)  

8. Proposing while on an airplane, or on a cruise. (besides the enormous cliche, what are you going to do if she says no on the first day of the cruise? Talk about AWKWARD)

9. Proposing after running a marathon/playing a sports game/dancing a full story-ballet. Gross, sweaty, not paying attention at all. 

10.Staging a fake police raid. Google it. It will make you want to beat your head against a while.

Mkay, so I'm all out of ideas, if you have anything super romantic or super stupid you want to tell everyone about leave it in a comment. =)

Love,

Alice

In which grudges are discussed

Grudges. Can you hold them? I can't. Well, not really... I mean, there's people who have done really shitty things to me, that I've yet to be able to forgive them for, but I'm not really full of anger towards them, or any negative energy. I'm not mad, they just hurt me and I haven't forgiven them. Actually, I don't know if I'll ever forgive some of these people. Hmm.... list of people I do not know if I can forgive and their crimes:

-Les, director of my ballet school: stands condemned for borderline encouraging my ED, completely looking away from depression and self-injury (like, seriously, it's ballet, it's kind of hard not to notice when your student has arms covered in cuts and scars, or when she routinely has at least one spots on her tights where a cut has bled through), and telling me to "cut the crap and dance" when I was trying to tell him that I was breaking down, that I was losing it. A little over a month after that I was in the hospital.

-Alicia, a girl I thought I knew: her crime is just being a bitch and trying to pull me as far down as she could to make herself feel better.

-R***, stalker: stands condemned for exactly what his description is, being a stalker. Terrifying me to the point where I can't be out at night without jumping at every noise, thinking it's him, hiding my name and not even being able to write his out because then he might find me again. And the nightmares.

There's one other person that I can't even put down because I ashamed of the fact that I can't forgive her yet. It's awful. After everything I should be able to forgive her, but I just can't.

Do any of you have those people you can't forgive? Or people you're holding grudges against, people you're still fucking pissed the hell off at? Lesson: You're not a bad person if you do.

Lovely

As you all know, I recently published Lovely, which is totally the bestest most awesomest book on the face of like, everything. my first book, or, more accurately, a novella. I was stunned at the sheer amount of people that have wanted to read my book. Like, seriously, today when I looked up the statistics and saw that nearly two hundred people have read my book I almost cried from happiness. This is just amazing. =)

For those of you who want to be extra super awesome, you can direct people to the book's page on smashwords, http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/40188 OR you could totally print out a flyer or two and stick them anywhere you think people would notice them at. flyer!

Love,

Alice

adventures in frenzyland: i love mary oliver...

adventures in frenzyland: i love mary oliver...: "more than words can say.... a poem for you on this beautiful saturday afternoon. Wild Geese Mary Oliver You do not have to be good. Y..."

instead of giving you my words today, I will give you Ali's, and she will give you Mary Oliver's.