Argh. I was looking up quotes from people who've had an eating disorder about recovery for my semester project... and guess what I ran into. It was really stupid to not think that through. Proana is bullshit. But bullshit that tries to suck you back in. Thanks, idiots who promote eating disorders to try and drag the entire world down with you, I really appreciated you fucking up my recovery even more. That worsening my relapse you were kind enough to assist me with was so helpful. The thoughts are already there... getting them reinforced is the worst. And in case you are intelligent enough never to run into one of these websites (or to look them up...), they're communities of people sharing tips on how to get themselves sicker. Full of positive comments like nothing tastes as good as thin feels sand then the typical 'thin is perfect' or 'bones are beautiful'. A new one was 'the mirror hurts more than starving' and 'the problem lies right under your nose, stop shoveling food in, fastass.' And then there are your links to thinspiration (pictures of sickeningly thin people that you should model yourself after), which will always include pictures of Kate Moss.
It's disturbing, but such an easy thing to be sucked back into if you're already struggling. I can remember bawling my eyes out and admitting to Nicole that I was looking back into last year (which I managed to stop very quickly, thank god). It's... I don't know any other way to describe it but sick.
love,
Alice
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