Just a dream...

I seriously typed that and now have about fifty songs that involve dreams stuck in my head. What the hell, I need to listen to different songs. Like for seriously. ANYWAY.

I know we said that we wouldn't actually have kids. There are plenty out there who need loving mommas and mommies. Neither of us have good genes, and neither of us wanted to pass them onto anyone. No cursing an infant with schizophrenia or epilepsy or depression or a tendency towards eating disorders.... so I don't know why I was having this dream, and even throughout the dream my concious mind was saying "but we didn't plan this. you both said that would be a bad idea." But it was such a good dream. And good dreams deserve to be written out fully.

It was a pretty morning, with the sun streaming through the curtains and warming up the room. I had been laying awake for a while but I simply did not have the willpower to pull myself out of bed. Besides, it was a rare moment when everything was so quiet in the house; with so many animals it was almost impossible to have peace and quiet. I didn't know you were awake until I felt you turn on your side to face me.

"Any plans on getting up soon?" you asked me, stretching out and grabbing my hand.

"Nope."

"It's like... 10:00, what happened to the early bird?"

"She decided that she wasn't getting her lazy ass out of bed this morning," I said, sticking my tongue out at you.

You laughed at me but I knew you had no desire to get out of bed either because you just rolled over and snuggled more into the covers. Laziness excusing more laziness; just another morning in the Liddelle-Weatere household (or the Weatere-Liddelle household, depending on the day; we'd yet to be able to pick one).

I was just starting to drift off again when I felt your hand making circles on my stomach. It made me smile, and I turned to look at you. I must have been more out of it than I thought because you had managed to turn on your side and prop yourself up on your elbow without me feeling the bed move. I slid my hand back into yours and looked at my stomach, smiling even more at the tiny baby bump that was just beginning to show.

"I love you," I whispered, both to you and the little baby just beginning to form.

---and then end dream because I woke up and started crying. Guess my mind was playing through what will never be. But I'm okay with that.

Love,

Alice