Not your normal girl

I don't know if my parents have realized yet that I'm not a normal girl. I don't eat because I have an eating disorder, not because I don't like your cooking or I'm trying to disrespect you. I think you'd know that because I've been anorexic for FOUR FUCKING YEARS. I'm in recovery but there I times I can't do it, it's hard enough to eat with foods I love let alone foods that make me throw up when I eat them. Yes, when you scream at me I cut because it's the only thing that makes it stop hurting, because when you're screaming they're screaming too, remember, it's called schizoaffective disorder. I don't go to parties because I have extreme social anxiety, not because I'm just antisocial and trying to isolate. And no, I don't have a boyfriend.

I'm not a normal girl and until you realize that we're not going to have a good relationship.

In more positive news I went in to volunteer today and it was awesome. Except for being fucking cold. HiLo (well, it's HiHo but I said it wrong, so now he's stuck with it) is a sweetie, he's retired because he has cancer though. =( We gave him some TLC today, brushed out his coat and mane till it shined, cleaned out his hooves, gave him a few laps around the big paddock and just gave him lots of love. When we got him out of the pasture a black gelding stuck his head through the gate and tried to eat another girls hair, shoes, and hoodie. Then Luke thought he was a dog and followed me everywhere I went. HiLo kept running away from the harness, it was so funny. And then I sidewalked for Olivia and found out that the "mare meadow" is all the way on the other side of the ranch and she wanted bad to stop and eat all the grass she saw. I love volunteering. =)

Love,

Alice